Do you really want to get well?

Do you really want to get well?

This tends to be a controversial subject, but one that kinesiologists normally have to address at some point in their career. On a conscious level, of course everyone wants to get better, otherwise why would they bother paying someone to help if they didn’t? However, on a much deeper, subconscious level, this may not be so.

Our body is extraordinary at healing itself, and as I have mentioned in the past, if we listen, if will give us the clues as to how to help it do so. For example, your body needs to rest, so you will feel very tired, there’s the clue. 

However, when we are dealing with the unconscious or subconscious, it is possible there is a secondary gain or benefit from NOT overcoming a problem. Again, I must point out that this is not a thought that is made at a conscious level. In fact most people are not even aware, to the point they can become quite offended or upset when the suggestion arises that it would be beneficial to muscle test while they say the statement, ‘I want to get well’.

So what would be a secondary gain or benefit from staying unwell? If someone has been chronically ill or in chronic pain for sometime, it can gradually become part of who they are, they do not who they are without it, which can be scary to let go of. Also as they are never pressured to do things, for example, go back to work, find a new job or go out to social events, it offers them a good reason, or excuse, to not fully participate in life. Some may even enjoy the attention they receive from their partner, family, friends, therapist, doctors etc. and the more they feed into this, the more they stay stuck in being unwell. Once again, I want to make it clear that none of this on a conscious level and many people are unaware.*

This secondary gain concept can be relevant in many areas, for example an inability to lose weight, I mentioned this before as protection weight, in NLP it is called armouring. Many people believe they fear failure when actually they could fear success. With success comes more responsibility, it can effect relationships, change your environment, some say it is fearing your own power.  Secondary gain is important as everyone is essentially trapped by it in one way or another, it’s our internal conflict.

There are different ways to address this; in kinesiology we call it Psychological Reversal, in NLP we call it Parts Therapy. Both techniques aim to integrate harmony between the opposing parts of the subconscious mind, and are usually used when there is still little improvement after one or two sessions. Heartspeak would also be helpful.

So if you have been struggling in a particular area for sometime, your subconscious mind may be holding on to it for a benefit you are unaware of.

*Side note; in relation to long term illness and pain, neurodivergent individuals, specifically Autistic individuals can suffer with fatigue; a state of extreme mental, physical and/or sensory exhaustion. This can lead to burnout if not addressed. Burnout can display as chronic exhaustion, headaches, body pain, digestion issues, loss of skills, and reduced tolerance to stimulus, to name a few symptoms, as a result of prolonged or intense sensory, social, and cognitive demands and can last for three months or more. This would require different support to the above. You can find more information here.